27 Funny Drinking Toasts To Celebrate The New Year With

By December 19, 2022Keynote Speaking, Post
Funny Toasts

There’s nothing quite like a gathering of those closest to us to welcome in the New Year. And the best way to bring on the good memories is by sharing a funny and clever toast!

My Top Five Favorite Toasts

  1. “May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.”
  2. “I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know!”
  3. “I know it’s Christmas, but here’s to another day of being at the office because, once again, I’m doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit.”
  4. “May misfortune follow you for the rest of your life and never catch up.”
  5. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

When it comes down to it, no gathering or event is complete without a touching toast. And for the best TOAST, I’ll also give you tips and tricks to make your message one to remember!

See Related: Top 6 Public Speakers In The World Right Now

Take A Moment To Acknowledge Those Around You

Toasts usually happen when we are gathered with people we care about. Let’s start there.

To make your toast actually mean something, make it about the people you are near to. Start the New Year by acknowledging what’s importantour friends and family!

Funny Toasts Perfect For Friends Gathered With You

Remember that drinking toasts can easily turn into anything you need them to be. You don’t need to have alcohol to make a memorable and meaningful statement to your family and friends. Get creative with it!

Here are some classic, popular, and touching toasts for friends.

#6. “To those who have seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference.”

Friends remember the things about us that we sometimes wish they’d forget. The people we most cherish love us no matter what!

#7. “Here’s to the nights we’ll never remember with the friends we’ll never forget.”

This one is an exceptional classic. Let the people you care about know that you’ll never forget them! Maybe you think they know it already, but a reminder never hurts.

Man's worst enemy all your ups irish laughter lighten all the snakes fools drink many a pensive tear best funny drinking toasts animal pleasures wedding toast funny drinking toasts#8. “May we all have the chance to prove that money can’t make us happy.”

We’ve heard it repeatedly: money can’t buy happiness. But that’s why we have friendship!

Here are a few more classic (albeit a little sappy) toasts that you really can’t go wrong with.

#9. “May your home be a place where friends meet, family gathers, and love grows.”

#10. “May good fortune precede you, love walk with you, and good friends follow you.”

#11. “May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.”

Open With Something Specific To Your Audience

A funny toast is a relatable toast. There’s nothing more hilarious than someone dropping a line that speaks to the audience!

Here are a few ideas to get you started.

#12. For dog people: “May we be who our dogs think we are.”

#13. For culinary fanatics: “There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw

#14. For thinkers: “If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” – Carl Sagan

Miss fortune sail all those snakes all the favors very good health irish magic shorten long life college drinking toasts anonymous alcoholic well known drunkard cheat death good life irish toastsSpeak To Your Audience, And All The Rest Will Fall Into Place

If you want to give a meaningful and successful toast, there’s more that goes into it than just picking a few funny lines. Delivery and direction are essential. 

As an experienced emcee, I know a lot about the art of public speaking. But if you’re giving a short and sweet toast, you only need to keep a few things in mind to nail your TOAST.

Take Your Time

Don’t rush. Read it again.

Whether you’re nervously jumbling your words or hurrying to get to the punch line, you can’t go fast with your toast. Pauses and emphasis are key to ensuring your toast is impactful!

Offer Relatable Content

Make your toast something your listeners will enjoy hearing!

It’s not a good idea to use the same jokes or toasts for a group of vegans and a gathering of avid hunters. But, of course, that should go without saying.

You know the crowd best, so use toasts that speak to them!

Allow An Interruption Or Two

Please don’t take it your toast too seriously. After all, hilarious toasts (especially funny drinking toasts) are meant to be lighthearted and freeing!

So if all your friends want to chime in with their own good-hearted message, let them. The more, the merrier!

And there’s nothing less funny than a stickler that doesn’t want their friends involved.

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Toasts don’t need to be one-liners. Short and sweet sometimes won’t be enough to deliver the impact you are looking for.

On the other hand, you don’t need to turn your offering into a full-fledged novel. But by sharing a story, you can connect with those gathered with you and leave them with a lasting memory.

Trust The Professionals If You’re In Doubt

If you’re having a corporate gathering or a company event, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to give a toast or speech. Your keynote speaker is the perfect person to entrust with this kind of responsibility!

Whatever speaker you decide to book is an industry professional and likely knows a lot about connecting with an audience. So use their expertise to leave your employees or coworkers with an impactful message!

Bonus: Understanding Employee Empowerment In The Workplace

Funny Toasts For Good Cheer And Happy Memories

The best funny drinking toasts can be hard to think of on your own. Here are the best goofy toasts to give when you’re clinking glasses!

#15. “You’re a gentleman and a scholar and a good judge of bad liquor.”

#16. “It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.” – W. C. Fields

#17. “Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka makes you not remember any of it!”

#18. “I drink when I have occasion and sometimes when I have no occasion.” – Miguel de Cervantes

#19. “Let’s have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies.” – Holly Black

#20. “God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer, both great and small. Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all!”

#21. “Here’s to Dame Fortune; may she smile upon you. May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune.”

Gentle sea fair woman unemployment insurance big bull staying positive and testing negative morning person man drinks good girl rich fathers two secrets cold pint other guy merry oneMore Toasts To Leave Lasting Memories

As I said, you don’t need to be drinking to give a toast. So here are some more fantastic toasts that are perfect for any occasion!

#22. “The past is history, and the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because it’s the present.”

#23. “May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.”

#24. “May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out.”

#25. “To your very good health. May you live to be as old as your jokes!”

#26. “Let us toast to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast!”

#27. “May we live to learn well and learn to live well.”

Keep Reading: 9 Tips For Giving The Best Christmas Toast Ever

Adam Christing has been called “The Tom Brady of emcees.” He has hosted more than 1,000 company meetingsspecial eventsgala celebrations, and more. He is the author of several books and founder of CleanComedians.com. For more event tips, follow Adam Christing on InstagramFacebookPinterestLinkedIn, and YouTube.

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Adam Christing

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